One last thing...

It is 7:42 pm. I leave for Costa Rica mission trip tomorrow by 12:30am. I am almost packed. Things are being loaded in the van. The kids have their clothes laid out for mom's and Kara's. I should be running around trying to finish up everything and make the house look as nice as possible for my return. But I am tired and a little bit feverish. Only because I received three vaccinations today (for nursing school) so all I want to do is take a hot bath and lay down. NOT GOOD. Normally I would be so full of excited energy that I was about to POP right now. I do not feel terrible. Just can tell that I am not myself. That is OK though. We will get done whatever we get done. And the rest will just have to be the way it is.

Please pray for our trip and for God's protection for us and for our families at home while we are away. It is with much anticipation that I close this post. Knowing that the next time I am able to share with you I will have much to share indeed. God Bless. Alyssa

Good food, good friends, good times

i wanna be all you created me to be. i want to accept myself for who i am. expecting the most i can give without expecting things from myself that YOU do not dear Lord. felt much better today. actually got to enjoy some good company and some awesome SALSA made by a dear old friend, given by a very dear friend who was willing to share her portion. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH. It was like medicine to my soul. No one makes salsa like Emily Gift. Why is it that some foods feel like a great big hug from the person who made it. You know how some people just have that one certian recipe that feeds not only your body but also your soul???? Like....

• Grandma Kirk's homemade vanilla pudding, fried taters and brown beans?


• Grandma Howard's stuffing, and homemade noodles, and absolutely divine homemade cherry pie and Coconut Cream pie?


• Emily's salsa


• Karen Armstrong's homemade BROWNIES ummmh! Thank you Jesus!


• MY MOM'S TEXAS SHEET CAKE


• MY SISTER'S TUNA SALAD


• MY MOTHER IN LAW's FRIED CATFISH. thank you LORD.

CAN I GET A WITNESS?!?!?!!?! LOL

whew!!!! I'm all worked up. I just wish the sweet taste of my great grandma's cream pie's could once again grace my lips. I miss you grandma. And I miss your Cream pies too!!!!!

AMEN.

lonely. unnecessary. alone. confused. why? am I? or not? I miss being known, and loved. I miss being understood and respected. I miss my friends. I miss belonging. I never knew how difficult it could be for others until I walked in their shoes. Is there more? Please Dear God, let there be more. This is my heart cry. Send me a friend. Please dear Jesus...I need a friend. Not from my family, or from some far off place. Not from the distant past, another time or place, But right here. right now...from your body, my "new" home. I can't stand to be so alone here in your church.

Clay

sometimes shattered chards-dry, hard, and unyeilding, sometimes crushed and ground, powdery-unfeeling, other times soft, moistened with feeling, moldable, bendable, useable. Never alone, but always in His hands...Clay.

To be used by Him I must first be broken. This vessel I possess can often be my prison. I want to be so much more than who I am. Yet I am his. Not only am I his but I am his creation. I am who He created me to be. Once created, then broken, crushed, moistened, pressed down, moulded, reshaped, fired, and recreated each day in His beautiful image. I am always...clay.

Praise the Lord!!!!

More to come later (video & details) but Luke Isaac Woollard was baptized into Christ today!!! Easter April 12, 2009. And his momma and poppa couldn't be happier.

Your love oh Lord, reaches to the heavens, your grace is like the ocean's tide, and your righteousness is like a mighty mountain, your faithfulness reaches to the sky. I will lift my voice and worship you my God. I will lift my voice and worship you my king. Bless me this day with your presence. aw

All things work together for good

The Lord has had me under heavy conviction as of late nudging me ever closer to Himself. Over the last several months I have been asking God to reignite His spirit within me, the flame that He warns us to not quench. I knew that somewhere deep within me I was holding back part of myself from Him and not trusting Him completely. Sometimes questioning if the fire within me had all but gone out, haunted by scriptures like; the ones comparing cold Christians to salt that had lost it's saltiness being useless and thrown out to be trampled by men, or the scripture that speaks of those in the end times who will have a form of religion but deny His power, that faith without works is dead, that pure religion is to care for widows and orphans in need, and the list goes on.

Part of me thought that He would answer quickly, but He has not. Part of which is probably due to my inconsistency in spending time with Him. I want to be closer, but the things of this world, it's distractions, busyness, and my physical exhaustion pull and tear me from His ams. BALANCE is so difficult when we don't allow God to hold the scales.

Most times in relationships love comes softly, through time and experiences shared. I am working on it. Everyday coming a little closer to the fire, allowing myself to trust in it's warmth and light, and less fearful of being burned. God has been revealing more of Himself to me, slowly coaxing me to trust Him. Not Pushing. Just Loving. Today I went for a walk with God and during our visit I noticed the birds singing, the beautiful sky, and ask Him to change me into who He wants me to be. That is when the words, "Psalm 32:9"quietly passed through my thoughts. At first I dismissed it, and continued talking To him (and not listening to him). Then again, "Psalm 32:9". This time I heard. I understood. My pace quickening I made my trek home. I couldn't wait to read what it said... "Do not be like the mule or the horse, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you." Wow.

So, wanting to understand the context I read Psalm 32:8-11

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!" ok.

I'M SINGING LORD! I AM SINGING.