One last thing...

It is 7:42 pm. I leave for Costa Rica mission trip tomorrow by 12:30am. I am almost packed. Things are being loaded in the van. The kids have their clothes laid out for mom's and Kara's. I should be running around trying to finish up everything and make the house look as nice as possible for my return. But I am tired and a little bit feverish. Only because I received three vaccinations today (for nursing school) so all I want to do is take a hot bath and lay down. NOT GOOD. Normally I would be so full of excited energy that I was about to POP right now. I do not feel terrible. Just can tell that I am not myself. That is OK though. We will get done whatever we get done. And the rest will just have to be the way it is.

Please pray for our trip and for God's protection for us and for our families at home while we are away. It is with much anticipation that I close this post. Knowing that the next time I am able to share with you I will have much to share indeed. God Bless. Alyssa

Good food, good friends, good times

i wanna be all you created me to be. i want to accept myself for who i am. expecting the most i can give without expecting things from myself that YOU do not dear Lord. felt much better today. actually got to enjoy some good company and some awesome SALSA made by a dear old friend, given by a very dear friend who was willing to share her portion. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH. It was like medicine to my soul. No one makes salsa like Emily Gift. Why is it that some foods feel like a great big hug from the person who made it. You know how some people just have that one certian recipe that feeds not only your body but also your soul???? Like....

• Grandma Kirk's homemade vanilla pudding, fried taters and brown beans?


• Grandma Howard's stuffing, and homemade noodles, and absolutely divine homemade cherry pie and Coconut Cream pie?


• Emily's salsa


• Karen Armstrong's homemade BROWNIES ummmh! Thank you Jesus!


• MY MOM'S TEXAS SHEET CAKE


• MY SISTER'S TUNA SALAD


• MY MOTHER IN LAW's FRIED CATFISH. thank you LORD.

CAN I GET A WITNESS?!?!?!!?! LOL

whew!!!! I'm all worked up. I just wish the sweet taste of my great grandma's cream pie's could once again grace my lips. I miss you grandma. And I miss your Cream pies too!!!!!

AMEN.

lonely. unnecessary. alone. confused. why? am I? or not? I miss being known, and loved. I miss being understood and respected. I miss my friends. I miss belonging. I never knew how difficult it could be for others until I walked in their shoes. Is there more? Please Dear God, let there be more. This is my heart cry. Send me a friend. Please dear Jesus...I need a friend. Not from my family, or from some far off place. Not from the distant past, another time or place, But right here. right now...from your body, my "new" home. I can't stand to be so alone here in your church.

Clay

sometimes shattered chards-dry, hard, and unyeilding, sometimes crushed and ground, powdery-unfeeling, other times soft, moistened with feeling, moldable, bendable, useable. Never alone, but always in His hands...Clay.

To be used by Him I must first be broken. This vessel I possess can often be my prison. I want to be so much more than who I am. Yet I am his. Not only am I his but I am his creation. I am who He created me to be. Once created, then broken, crushed, moistened, pressed down, moulded, reshaped, fired, and recreated each day in His beautiful image. I am always...clay.