without a potter, clay is just dirt.

why do I try to carry these burdens alone.  why do I fight.  and struggle to make my heart your home.  Is it supposed to be this hard?  As much as I hate to admit it sometimes it is.  I need space to breathe in your spirit and my schedule. my heart. won't permit it.  And sometimes when I sit in your presence my thoughts are fragmented and chaotic.  Calm the Storm inside my mind.  Fill my heart with joy divine.  The flesh and the spirit are at war.  And there are battles that I lose. DAILY!  But praise God I know I have the VICTORY.  Today I feel tired.  anxious.  overwhelmed.  Trying to carry burdens that are too much for me.  ALONE.  I need you Jesus to shine into this darkness and open up my heart.  For your yoke is easy and your burden is light.

But this much I have learned.  That first the cup of my soul must be emptied, poured out.  ALL OF IT!  I often pray.  "Take all of it Lord.  I don't want it anymore.  It is too hard.  It hurts too much."  and though painful.  The surrender of control.  of feelings.  Peace follows.   Sometimes the joy just flows, other times I am stuck between what I want and who I am.  Today i needed to let go.  OVERWHELM ME WITH YOUR GRACE> IN THE FACE OF MY INADEQUACY... without the potter clay is just dirt.  Fill this vessel of clay with the inexpressible joy of the great gift of God.