off course, of course...NOT!

I had a dream last night, of which I remember none except...being on a ship and getting caught up in micro bursts of wind that would spin me one direction then another.   My little ship was spinning around jerking me one way then another. Try as I might I could not break free.  Paddling with all my might and trying with all that I had in me I could not free myself from the chaotic wind currents.  I have thought about that a lot today.  How at times my life feels just like that dream.  I am trying and seeking so hard to find my heading to break away from the confusion and chaos to know what it is that I am to do... today and everyday.  teach? nurse? stay home? get a job?  And then HE says...Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD.

This season of life for me has been very difficult...very different and very necessary.  For the Lord disciplines those he loves and Brian and I were both in need of some major discipline.  Many times, (past) I felt like the guy on the construction business commercial that would change the sticker on the side of his truck and announce, "Today, we do windows." for I would try to make a way to do what I WANTED to do, manipulating currents and forcing my way into some locked door.  And I am learning that is simply NOT going to work. 

This season of my life is about finding my heading and being still to find out what HE wants me to do.  and for now the only clear answer I can get is," LOVE ME and LOVE YOUR FAMILY"  so for those of you wondering what I am doing now...I am seeking HIS FACE and WAITING for his leading.   And learning what it means to allow Jesus to be my everything.  It doesn't pay much ($$$) but the benefits are ETERNAL!